Statement of admission

Like a blindman I can not see myself, but am subject to what I hear, feel and smell. I hear my insecurities in my head, I feel the pain of my heart and I smell my own fear. I am responsible for changing those if I don't like them, but first I must truly open my eyes and discover me. This journey will hurt, but it will heal me deep within and change my life's destination for the good, for me and others. I dedicate myself to living with a purpose and to seeking knowledge and understanding in myself and others. I will accept myself and others for love is a universal language!


Drama**
Some people thrive on it, live for it and believe it or not, I DO NOT! Seems to me that drama finds me. I am a compassionate, empathetic person and I care about other's well being whether I know them or not. I have a listening ear, a tender touch, I have opinions and am willing to give advice when asked, but just because I listen doesn't mean that I want to be part of it or stuck in the middle after I have given and opinion. It is my nice nature that overtakes my honesty sometimes. The truth can hurt and I hold it back a bit to save others feelings. I do it to be nice, but it seems to bite me in the ass eventually and then I just have to say how it really is.

To each their own***To thine own self be true

I don't judge others, we all have a different past that brought us to the present. We all make what we believe is the best choice at each fork in the road to life. I have felt judged for my choices, for the way I present myself, for my opinions...that is fine, a lack of understanding, caring and knowledge can do that to people. I don't always understand, care or know what someone has been through or is going through, but if they are willing to talk, I am willing to listen because I want to try to understand most people-most situations.

Love me or hate me, but never underestimate me! I may know/understand more than I lead on, but not give an opinion in order to learn more or to save another from my honest thoughts. If you had to choose between knowing my thoughts or my feelings, my feelings will almost always be more pleasant because my thoughts get mean and sadistic at times in order to make myself feel a little better about a situation.


Life is like a rollercoaster? Ride it like you own it!

I read once that the way you discribe "life" says a lot about you. I always find myself saying that life is like a rollercoaster. Does this mean that I believe I have no control over the ride or because I am a thrill seeker, I chose the ride and took all the ups and downs knowing they would eventually come.

Maybe I should say life is like a river, sometimes is flows smoothly and sometimes there are rapids, but in the end I have no more control over the river of life either. I know I am not in total control of my life, by my free will gives me some control, especially if I wait on the Lord for His will.

So what is life? More like a gas station--you can fill your life will good grade fuel or lower grade fuel. It is your choice. You may have to pay more for the better fuel, life is full of consequences. You ultimately choose what to put into your vessel the Lord gave you. You life is the greatest choose your own adventure story, you can always change the story and you never really know the ending. To God you are like a favorite book, he knows the beginning the middle and end, yet he watches on in enthusiasm and empathy at all the right times. He knows you well and enjoys your story, for He is the ominous author. Choose the rode to drive, if you aren't getting good mileage, change fuel and turn on a new path. The Lord is with you everystep of the way!

CNH