A. is the fantasy beyond the phone. His words, thoughts, mind, his voice---they tell my sould that my other half is out there. ( I wrote so many of my early blogs...erotic poetry based on the feelings I had after speaking with him.) I could be loved, cherished and independant all at once. My passion could be reciprocated fully. But it is all fantasy as the 2000 miles and border of countries and so much like our touch and smell elude us. But when he speaks french, I melt into liquid heat. His voice alone make me burn. When he says he needs me, wants me happy, wants all of me to be his ALWAYS....my mind, heart, body and sould cry out with dreams that it was true. He tells me that we have a connection that is insermoutable, that reality and fantasy cross over in our case....even if it doesn't the fantasy is amazing. A. is my personal romance novel hunk/hero. I feel out of his league and vulnerable and yet more myself and alive with passion when I speak with him. I beg for him openly and hide little of myself from him. He makes my emotions surge.
I read the "Lost Girls" by Alan Moore on his advisement and actually bought myself a hard bound edition as I enjoyed the erotics tales so much. I am happy I have found him and others to help me in my journey. Expressing myself without hinderence could enhance my marriage or at least future relationships.
S. is my good Christian friend, 29 yr. old virgin, snowflake white to the point that I feel talking with him probably stains his soul. He is old world charm and chivalry, intelligent and most of all strictly moral. I love that he doesn't waver, he is a rock when I am a raging storm. I have found true people that open up my life and make me look at what I truly value in myself, others and life as a whole.
Though times are hard at times, I am luck to breath each day!
CNH
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