Well I had dinner with my ex-best friend who is now very close to my 1st ex husband. I have always been aware of the sexual tension there, since college. She always liked him to an extent and he always thought she looked good, but was just too selfish and crazy...only child syndrome. We talked over dinner and a few bottles of wine. She and eye have been thru many of the same experiences in the 3 years we haven't talked. We actually are in situations which we don't agree with, she doesn't think I should put up with emotional abuse, I don't think she sould put up with physical abuse. We have to laugh when trying to give eachother advice and my ex J. said it was the most frustrating conversation to listen to, as he didn't agree with either of us. Anyway, as the night progressed I found out that she is addicted to pain killers, and I always thought she was better than that. She was concerned I would be upset with the friendship she has with my ex and my kids. I don't mind as long as she isn't strung out when she is with my kids. As she got super drunk, she was all over my ex and I just let them be. I mean, I love and care about my ex as a friend and parent to my sons. I was actually happy for him, especially when she said she was going to spend the night....but then as time passed some of her boy toys called and she had one of them drive 100 miles to come and get her. I realize now that a lot of my actions in the past were learned from her, I took on that role of manipulating men who desired me, but then stopped. I don't want to be like that. I want the true one for me, I don't need a stable of men...though the fantasy is delightful, I just need one good one.
CNH
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